Divorce is notorious for being one of the most difficult experiences an adult will ever have to go through. As you go through your divorce, and the years following your divorce, you will be faced with multiple scenarios where you will be given one choice: give in a little or stand your ground. For example, you can agree to let your kids have visitation with your spouse on his or her birthday, or hold firm to the visitation schedule as if any deviation would be disastrous.
Sit with your spouse at your kids' soccer games, or sit 100 feet apart from each other. Invite your ex to your child's family birthday party, or insist that they don't come. Offer an olive branch, or fire out a stream of angry texts.
Divorce can be hard, and it can be very hurtful, but the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is opt for the high road as much as possible. Taking the "high road" means the most positive, diplomatic, or ethical course.
Consider your spouse's feelings, and no matter what, do what's best for your kids, and this includes refraining from badmouthing your spouse. When your children grow older, they're going to remember what you said about their parent and more importantly, they'll remember how it made them feel.
Strive to negotiate solutions that work for everyone involved, not just you. Avoid creating conflict and if your spouse becomes emotional or angry, don't escalate the conflict – instead remain calm.
Choosing the high road is favored over being petty or vindictive, but it is much more than that. Any family therapist will say that angry spouses end up hurting their own interests when they drag out everyone's pain by refusing to give in an inch.
It can seem impossible to make reasonable decisions when you are experiencing emotional turmoil. You may feel betrayed by your spouse, you may be deeply hurt by an affair, or your spouse may have ruined you financially.
If you are a victim of family violence compromise may seem impractical, however, in the vast majority of situations, you'll find that a little compromise can go a long way – and if you choose the high road, years from now you will feel good about the choices that you made. More importantly, you'll know that you acted in your children's best interests.
One of the most difficult aspects of divorce on children is the conflict they witness between their parents. When that conflict is protracted, the more harm is done to the children, and sometimes it can have long-lasting implications that can affect everything from their grades, to self-confidence, to their interpersonal relationships.
If you want to shield your children from a painful divorce, know that the more you take the high road with your spouse, the better off your children will be.
Are you searching for a Dallas divorce attorney? Contact Mathur Law Offices, P.C. to schedule a comprehensive, confidential case evaluation.